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1lb lost! not much but its sumthing cuz i've been craving and eating a little...but i jogged/ran last night for at least half an hour. and 112lbs sound a lil better than 113... so today...i'll just drink water and a pear or watever fruit we may have and then a little bit of dinner. the fruit would be for if i just have to eat something, LoL.
another good news is that im turning 17 this sunday! =] but then that could mean sweets...we'll see...
my next post will be on monday cuz its hard for me on the weekend with parents around and plus they dont like me online that much.
stay strong! | | |
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my parents found out bout me being ana/mia the beginning of this year. my dad kinda took it more seriously than my mom did. and for a while he would watch what i ate, making sure i ate. wen my mom found out, she kinda jus shrug it off in a way. it didnt seem so big to her. i guess they thought it was a "phase" i was going through? and that they could cure me? i dunno... but my dad still kinda make sure i eat tho. =]
wellz, yesterday wasnt really good...i binged and then purge. its been a while since i made myself threw up so i wasnt sure if i would b able to but i did. surprisingly, it still feels natural to me. and i jus did it this morning.
here's a tip...if u eat, dont just check the number of calories. also check for the trans. fat. i watched something last night about how the trans. fat is actually stuff thats hard to vanish/take out from ur body. just try to avoid it!
stay strong! | | |
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beauty is pain...we do so much just to be beautiful. we try to ignore our hungry, exercise on an empty stomach and live as if nothing is wrong. and people ask what is wrong with us? sometimes beauty isnt really in the eye of the beholder. this is our beautiful. and its what i want to be...i want to become something beautiful. of course we all have our own story to tell and for alot of people and myself, its the thought of never being good enough...its not always the case that we have low self esteem for ourselves, but high expectations.
today i will try to eat only fruits (not alot) and then it a little bit for dinner. my parents, especially my dad, makes sure i eat dinner (cuz everyone is home at that time)...
and since they kinda found out about my ana/mia thing but i guess they really didnt knoe much about it. they didnt do anything except make sure i ate. really stupid. and it doesnt help that my mom was 98lbs. before and after she had me (now she ways alot more) and my dad had recently kinda compared my weight with my mom, saying how i look skinny but not as much as my mom was. =]
stay strong! | | |
| im back...i know that is has almost been a year...but since then i have had my ups and downs...for the stats?
cw:113
hw:130?
lw:105
right now i cant be fully devoted because of my dancing. i almost fainted during my dance practice this weekend. so here's one tips for all u girls...GET ENOUGH SLEEP. i barely eat breakfast and a lil lunch for so long now. the only reason why i fainted during my dance practice was because of the lack of sleep.
dancing is now my other way of exercise to lose the weight...but im still doing those sit ups and stuff!
stay strong!
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i dont knoe anymore girls...i guess i do need help with this. and when i mean help, i mean that if i really want to quit starving myself and throwing up. but thats the thing, this is something that i cant stop, its an addiction that even tho i want to give it up, i just cant or i dont want to.
its been hard for me to lose the weight that i gained from binging and trying to give up throwing up. im currently 110 trying to get bak to 108 and finally trying to get down to 105 then 103 and so on. and it sucks but it feels like that this is the only thing that i can live for now.
all i have now it this. this is the only thing i can depend on, that i can hope for still. cuz in this, im the only one that can let myself down.
be strong girls!
schools starting this coming monday...the 29th...so it should be easier for me to do this. i can avoid food during the day at school (eat like an apple or sumthin under 200 calories to get my friends off my bak) , pretending that i did eat lunch when my parents ask, and then be too busy to eat dinner that i just have a couple of bites or none at all!
iKay! | | |
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